Holiday (Widow Style)

Pumpkin Bread! Zucchini Bread! No Bake Cookies! 

As you can see from the photos; I spent the day baking, which I haven't done in years, and that is how long he has been gone, years 3 to be exact this coming Christmas morning, yet for some unknown reason the spirit of Christmas hit me this year, and said "Mom" bake some goodies, it will be good for you, and thus the pumpkin bread, zucchini bread, and the "no bake cookies-which I feel have not turned out the best", but I gave it the good ole HOLIDAY try, and turned on "Christmas music, Elvis-his favorite" and baked with joy and singing in my heart today. Which has not been there for sometime, so as you can see that the Holiday as a widow. Comes in many forms and format.  I am learning to find some peace and joy in the small things in life, and continue to live my life and moving on is the hardest part of losing someone and not being able to tell them in person "HEY I LOVE YOU" yet, showing them that yes, I am down here on earth and living to the best of my abilities and sometimes, the tears flow for no known reason, a song, a thought, a memory, or just plan because crying is all there is to for the day. 

Yes, it true that each person who is facing solitude via widowhood, divorce or breakup, faces the holidays with dread and wonders if they will find love, happiness, or even a smidgen of joy, and yes it is known fact and truth be told:  Only that person is able to answer for themselves. 

But As for me, it is hard  yet, I must continue to strive for single life happiness, as the joy of being with him physically is not an option during the holidays'. Oh, I can wish and for days to return to the yesteryear! However, that does not allow me to find peace and comfort in the life moving forward, and that is something, I must endure and I am working towards the peace and comfort, however; it is not an easy task for me.  But I digress, in the sadness, and allowing the sadness to run the life of the living is the worst place we can be in during the holidays and yet sometimes, it hard to find the happiness, yet, I am striving for this. 

I did finally post some things on my instagram page and TIXTOX pages, on working and being there for someone who is facing sadness, letting them they are not alone, that together we and fight the demons and work thru the holiday blues. Yes, the exercise is most important as this helps to lift your endorphins to raise your spirit and bring clarity to the mind. 

Just remember, that you are strong, you are invincible, and you can do whatever you set your mind to do. Here is saying that I like: "if you think you can or you think you can't you are right" Put that in your pipe and smoke on for a hot minute! What does that say to you! My 'sis' has a good one, "nothing changes if nothing changes".....like that one as well. Cause remember we are the bus driver of our own lives and if we choose to sit at the red light, then who is to blame for not moving forward.....YES! YES! You guessed right YOURSELF! 

So, remember to take the plunge and jump of the diving board, and into the water, and/or put your foot on the gas and move that bus forward. GO and slay the day!

Remember, I love you, you love me and together we will win the day! 

You got this, you are strong, you are invincible, you are beautiful, you are incontrol! 

till next time! 

cher-